WHY AND HOW TO FORGIVE?
I'm sure most people know how it feels to be angry with someone, to hold a grudge, to feel resentful. Something happened, where we felt hurt, misunderstood, disrespected, cheated, humiliated and that pain bore the feeling of resentment, anger, shame, etc. Some people deal with and let go of such emotions quickly, while others keep holding on to them, sometimes unaware of it.
If we think of that event and that hurt, usually all those emotions come up again, which might surprise us, for we were certain we were over it, that we forgave, that »life goes on« and the pain does heal with time, doesn't it? Well, it's not always so. All those emotions that the hurtful event caused us to feel might still be hidden deep inside us, which does not mean they aren't still affecting the way we feel and affecting our health. It is of great importance to let go of resentment and to forgive, if we want to live a happy and healthy life.
EFT can very effectively help us do so, for it deals with these emotions at an energetic level. It enables us to let go of resentment relatively quickly and painlessly, going through different levels of resentment.
Let's look at 3 levels of resentment and how EFT or tapping helps us permanently let go of those negative emotions.
The first level is, when someone had caused us pain and we eventually decide it was time to forgive and forget. That it was not worth holding on to resentment. The problem with this kind of forgiving is that, when we talk about the event, when someone asks us about it, when we see the person who had hurt us, etc., the pain and the negative emotions come boiling up again. We realize the »wound« (a disruption in the energy system) is still there and still unhealed. Many think this is just how it is, that they have to learn to live with it.
The second level is where energy psychology or EFT is required. EFT operates on the premise that all negative emotions (in our case resentment, which can be a bundle of many negative emotions, such as anger, shame, disgust, disappointment, sadness, etc.) are disruptions in our body's energy system. EFT allows us to express those negative emotions and by tapping on acupuncture points we release them at an energetic level. This means that, when we think of the event again, we don't respond to it emotionally anymore. We see it differently. We are able to look at it from a different perspective. Without feeling resentful. What a relief!
We forgive ourselves!
Very often we hold on to this »truth«, that in certain circumstances we »should have« handled things differenty. We judge ourselves for not knowing better, for not being smart enough, for not being able to say no, etc. We usually don't even think that there is anything to forgive, because it's the »truth«. We really should have or could have been smarter, better, stronger, more mature, etc.
But the truth is we are just punishing ourselves, we go on living with this belief that we are not worthy (of health, happiness, success, wealth,…) and we subconsciously avoid many opportunities. With EFT we tap and express our refusal to forgive ourselves, until we start to realize that there is nothing to forgive, that we had done the best we knew how under the circumstances and with the knowledge and experience we then had. And when we forgive ourselves, we start to allow all the good to come into our lives. Only then can we create a healthy, joyful life.
We can accomplish this only if we really pay attention to our emotions and deal with them at an energetic level. And I can't imagine a better and more efficient tool than EFT.